Hey, I'm Here Now
by Suuz112
Summary: - "You shouldn't say goodbye, daddy. You act like we'll never see each other again."
1. Chapter 1

**My new story. I hope you enjoy.**

**Alert - Review.**

**Please?**

* * *

1.

She rubs her forehead, absentmindedly, while watching two of her friends act goofy with meatballs. Once in a while, they glance at her, worried because of her empty eyes.

"Hey, are you okay, Sonny?" One of them asks, sauce smeared all over his cheeks, but except for the look, he is completely serious. "Yeah, you look a little…down." The other comments, seeing it too.

She drops her hand in her lap, and weakly smiles at the both of them, before replying. "I'm fine, guys! See?" The two boys flinch, as she tries to widen her smile, but fails miserably.

"Uhu, sure. We're going to get some frozen yoghurt." One of them says, and pulls the other with him. She almost immediately sighs, when they are out of earshot and puts her hands beneath her chin. Things were definitely wrong.

* * *

"Scene three, balcony, shot four. Action!"

"MacKenzie, I'm so sorry, I should have know you didn't steal my watch!"

"Yes, you should have. You hurt me, Angela. You ripped my heart out."

"But, can you forgive me? MacKenzie, can we be friends again?"

"… I'm sorry. You hurt me too much. I can't take this."

"But we're friends since kindergarten!"

"I don't CARE. You betrayed me, Ange!"

"Please."

"And CUT! Well done, Cooper! Take Margaret out."

* * *

"I bought new shoes, how do you like 'em?" She raises her shoes, and puts them on the table, waiting for a reply. "Sonny? Hello?" She frowns, while waving her hand in front of the brunette's face. Sonny blinks, and bursts into a fit of fake hysterical laughter. "Wooh, I don't know where I was! Haha, I was totally somewhere else, I guess, Tawni." Tawni raises her eyebrows, and shrugs it off as a bad day or a bad sleep. "Well, what do you think?"

Sonny smiles, politely, the smile not touching her eyes, at all. "They're beautiful."

Her friend laughs, glossing her lips while doing it. "I know!" And she walks away, without looking back. The girl left behind, sighs again.

* * *

He sips from his coffee, smoothing his uniform while cockily watching back a scene. He grins at seeing his acting skills, and sips again. "Mr. Cooper, Daniel says he needs you for something." He glares at the young man, indicating he isn't feeling like it. "Alright, I'll tell him you're…busy." The boy quickly says, shaking a little, and takes off, immediately.

Content with his action, he turns back to the tape and relaxes.

* * *

"Sonny, we need you for a sketch in five. Be there." She ends the call, and gets up from the chair, smoothing her skirt, she looks in the mirror in front of her. Dark shadows beneath her eyes indicate that she hasn't slept, and the rest of her face isn't much better. But still, she plasters a smile on her face, and makes her way to the stage to practice.

Arriving there, they don't greet her, no smile, no nod. "You're late," Marshall acknowledges, and she nodds, keeping the silly tears in. Crying never helped her before. "Sorry." She only says, before walking up to the rest of the cast.

"You look stunning, Tawni. And may I say, Nico and Grady, you did a good job today." Marshall tells them, when they're done. And even though she realizes he didn't compliment her, she ignores the aching and leaves the room as soon as possible. And even though she doesn't want to, when she disappears into the hallway, she has to wipe away the tears.

* * *

He throws the empty cup in the garbage bin, before making his way out of his dressing room. The guitar case on his back, and his phone in hand, he's about to make a call. Dialling Henry, the guy who drives the limo, he spots her.

She sits against the wall, with her knees drawn against her chest. She's sniffing, and keeps on wiping the wetness of her cheeks. And as she sees him, she turns away and looks the other way. Because she knows he'll just ignore her, and walk past her. But when she feels him next to her, she turns back only to see him watching her. And when he offers her a lollipop, she grins at him through her tears. "Thanks." She says, and takes it from him. He earns a laugh from her, again, when he scoffs. "Don't get used to it, Munroe."

There's five minutes of silence, before he turns back to her again, and asks her what's wrong.

"You don't want to know," She tells him, and he wants her to know that he does. "It's my dad."

He frowns, because he doesn't know what she means. "Your dad?"

She nods, quickly, wiping away another stray tear. "He's dead." His eyes widen, and he doesn't know what to say anymore. She watches the wall, and smiles.

"I told you. You don't want to hear."

"I do," He says, again. "Tell me, Sonny."

She takes a deep breath, and she begins to speak. And as he listens, and sees her tears streaming down her cheeks, he forgets everything. He's just Chad Dylan Cooper, nothing more. Nothing matters at that moment, because she's telling him about her father.

And all he does is listen.


	2. Chapter 2

**2.**

_With tears in her eyes, she had come to his work, and pulled him out of a meeting. __He was so worried, he asked her if she had cancer right away. She laughed through her tears and shook her head. "No, Greg. I don't have cancer." She told him, and he sighed in relief. But as he saw the tears in her eyes, his worry returned. "No, Greg, I don't have aids, either." He sighed again, and hugged her immediately. But in his arms, she sighed and pressed her head in his shoulder. "I'm pregnant." He stirred, and she cringed because she had always thought her husband didn't want kids. But when he pulled away, and she anxiously looked him in the eye, his eyes were filled with happiness. "We're getting a little boy?" He whispered, his eyes slowly watering and she nodded, slowly. "Yes, we are." He pulled her in his arms again, and laughed. "We're getting a baby, Connie! We're getting a baby!" And as he kept repeating that sentence, she cried in his chest. She cried, because she had thought she had to do everything alone. She cried, because her husband laughed._

_He was so overprotective, because even though she wasn't even two months pregnant.. He didn't let her do anything. He helped her with everything, and he was even worried when she had to go to the grocery store. It annoyed her, but at the same time, she loved him for it. __And every time she thanked God for such a perfect husband, and her pregnancy. _

* * *

_The day they told her parents, Greg's parents had passed away, was a grey day for the both of them. The reaction Connie was waiting for, was different than in any possible way she had imagined. Her folks didn't believe her at first, because they always thought she would be responsible enough to use protection. Secondly, they were angry, because apparently she wasn't responsible enough. And third, they were ashamed. Because their daughter shouldn't get a baby, at all. They were positive that Connie would fail, like she did in everything._

_And so that night, she locked herself in the bathroom and cried until she fell asleep in the bathtub. Greg didn't try to get her out, or talked to her. All he did was listen to her sobs, and silently cry with her. Because her pain was his pain, they both knew that._

_After that night, they didn't talk about her parents anymore. It was the forbidden subject, and a very painful, awkward one as well. That's why they decided to ignore everything that had to do with it. _

* * *

_During one of the doctor appointments, he always talked about 'their' baby. He acted like they carried the child together, and in a way they did. They were both intrigued by the little heartbeat, and the little feet. And when the doctor had asked Greg if he wanted to know the sex of the child, he refused. "I already know it's a boy, sir. No need for a confirmation." He had stated, and Connie just laughed. Because deep inside, she knew it wasn't a boy at all._

* * *

_At Christmas evening, Greg gave her a diamond necklace. A butterfly, and when her eyes watered and one tear slid down her cheek, he misunderstood. "I'm sorry, so sorry! I didn't know if you liked it or not, I'll bring it back, and you can choose, okay? Please, stop crying, dear!" She giggled, through her tears and shook her head. "I love it, it's beautiful." She told him, and he kissed her as soon as that smile lit up his whole world, once again._

* * *

_After nine tough months, Connie's waters broke in the middle of a crowded restaurant. It was Greg's wish, because he could make a scene and push people away, heroic. "Pregnant lady coming through!" He had yelled, and even though she was extremely stressed, he made her laugh, like he always did._

* * *

_One week too early, Connie delivered a beautiful baby girl. Greg was astonished, because he had been sure that his girl would have been a boy, but beneath all that, he was full of pure happiness. She was beautiful, so, so beautiful. They called her Allison Gretchen Munroe, after his mother. While his wife slept, he watched his daughter. He kissed her forehead, and tickled her stomach. And even though her eyes were still blue, just like all the other newborn babies, he knew they would be brown, like Connie's._

_He was wrong, once again. Because when the colour of her eyes turned, they weren't brown, at all. No, they were green. Just like his eyes, and when Connie told him she looked exactly like him, he cried. Tears dripped on the ground, as he hid himself in the bathroom of the hospital. And he wasn't even ashamed, like most men would be. He was a father, so he could._

_

* * *

_

Allison's first birthday was a special day, and he made more than 800 pictures. He couldn't help it, because she was just so beautiful. And even though he always tried to sell Connie her daughter looked like her, too, he knew, deep inside, that she was like him the most. Her little nose was exactly formed like his, and her dark green eyes showed the same bright, happy curiosity as his did. Connie bought her a little plushie, a pink elephant.

_Greg didn't tell Connie he thought the plushie was scary, he wouldn't. Because Connie bought it for Allison, and not for him. But as his thoughts confirmed, Allison didn't like the plushie, either. She pushed it away every time she had the chance to show her opinion in a way, and the message was clear to her folks. No pink elephants anymore._

_He always had known that his daughter was smart, but she proved it herself when she first spoke to Connie. He was disappointed that he was at work when she did, but what she said made up for it. Because Allison didn't just say 'Daddy', no, she had said 'I want Daddy'. _

_He knew his wife was sad that her daughter didn't say her name, or something involving her. But soon enough, Allison asked for her momma, too. _

_

* * *

_

Greg loved being a father, he loved seeing his Allison smile. And the first day he started calling her something else, was when he tried to teach her how to ride a bike. She fell down a lot, and tears trickled down her cheeks. "Daddy, I can't do it!" She whined, watching her bike and sitting on the green grass. And as he pulled her in his arms, and told her she could do it, the name slipped out of his mouth. "You can do it, Sonny." Her eyes brightened when she heard his new nickname for her, and grinning she tried again and again.

"_I'll fall, daddy!" She yelled, as he pushed her slowly while she sat on her bike. "No, sweetie. Just cycle, like we practiced." She whimpered in fright, as he pushed. "Don't let go, daddy, I'll fall!" She repeated again, cycling, but when he yelled he already had, she noticed how she sped across the street. On her own. And when they both laughed, he felt succeeded as a dad._

_

* * *

_

When Connie took her daughter shopping, their bonding really came to a start. And even though she didn't have enough money to buy EVERYTHING her daughter liked, she at least tried. And once, when Allison got a bright yellow dress from her mother, she thanked her with a kiss and asked her something. "Mommy, why don't you call me Sonny, like daddy does? Don't you like my new name?"

_Connie shook her head, smiling. "I do, sweetie. Do you want me to call you Sonny?" The girl nodded, quickly, making her two ponytails jiggle. "I do, momma." And from then on, Connie only called her daughter 'Allison' when Sonny did something wrong. _

* * *

**Thanks for reading.**

**Chapter three coming soon.**

**Thanks.**

**Review?**

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**3.**

_His baby__ girl grew up too quick, he thought. He told his wife he didn't like it, and she just laughed and hugged him. "I know, Greg, I have the same thing. But we can't stop nature."_

_He agreed with her, but still didn't like it. He wanted to have his Sonny always by his side. Just like all parents want their kids to stay small. _

_Every time he watched his Allison, he felt so proud. The way she acted, the way she played, the way she was. The fact that they didn't even have to explain the aspect of 'sharing' to her, had to mean something. And it did, because Sonny had a lot of friends. She was nice to everyone, and honest when that was the best thing to do. Connie told him, she was like him in every way possible. And he couldn't help but say he agreed with her. "Except her fantastic sense of fashion," He said, though. "She definitely got that from you."_

_Connie just smiled, and watched how her husband helped her daughter on the swings._

* * *

_Things changed on Sonny's first day of school. He walked with her to the door, and kissed her cheek and as she confidently smiled up at him with those beautiful green eyes, he though it'd be alright. "Goodbye, Sonny." He murmured, and she frowned at him. "You shouldn't say goodbye, daddy. It's like we'll never see each other again." Greg felt himself smile at her innocence and quickly nodded as a confirmation. "You're right. See you soon, Sonny."_

_She grinned at him, kissed his cheek again and with her tiny arms she opened the huge wooden doors to the building. "Good luck!" He had yelled after her, and when she turned around to wave at him, he made her laugh by making a goofy face._

_The afternoon Greg waited by the school, patiently and made some small talk with a parent here and there. He didn't enjoy it very much, all he wanted was his daughter. And when he finally heard the doors open, and all kinds of small children walked down the marble stairs, he waited. He waited, and waited, and waited. But his Sonny just didn't come._

_And so he hastily ran inside the school, and searched for her classroom._

_But what he found there, made his heart break and swell at the same time._

_Sonny was playing with an instrument, and even though the melody was practically the same, she seemed to enjoy it. He was so proud of her. But the fact that she was alone, made him ache. Didn't she make any friends? "Hey, Allison," And when she looked up to find her father standing there with a small smile, she thought she had done something wrong. "I'm sorry, daddy." She murmured, putting the instrument away and grabbing her little orange bag. "No, no, Sonny. It's okay, you didn't do anything wrong. Come on, let's go home." He told her, quickly, after seeing the sad look on her face, and steered her out of the classroom._

* * *

_Time passed by, and slowly Greg and Connie started to worry. Greg more than his wife, of course. "She seems so lonely, sometimes." He complained to her, and as she patted him on the shoulder, he frowned. "You can't do everything for her, dear. She needs to do some things alone." That was the first time they got in a big fight. "Are you going to go away, daddy? Are you going to leave me behind?" His eight year old daughter had sobbed in his shoulder the next day, when he and Connie still hadn't talked. "No, no, Sonny. Of course I won't."_

_An hour later Greg made up with his wife, and even brought flowers. She kissed him, knowing that he did it for his daughter, not for her. But it was enough._

* * *

_When Sonny turned nine, Connie came with the idea to buy her a pet. Greg fully agreed, as he knew how much his daughter loved animals. She had made a little shelter for bugs in her room, something Connie did not really appreciate._

_But then there was another issue. Because what kind of pet should they buy? No cats, because Serena, the neighbour, had one. Sonny was scratched by the animal several times, and tried to stay away from 'Doofus' as much as possible. Connie was terrified of snakes, mice, rats or any other animal looking something like that. And so Greg went over to the shelter, and asked for a puppy._

"_Well, sir. We just got one in, we found it on the streets alone, last night." The young man informed him, and silently he pitied the dog dearly. When the guy took him to a corner, and Greg saw the puppy, his decision was made. The little guy was white with light brown spots all over him, and he cowered in the corner as if afraid of everything that moved. _

_The day Sonny saw him for the first time, her eyes started sparkling and she squealed until Connie thought something was wrong with her lungs. "How do you want to call him, sweetie?" She asked her daughter, then, and Sonny's brow furrowed in concentration. "Muffin!" She yelled, excited and Greg burst into laughs as he saw the look on Connie's face. She didn't like the name, but hell. It was Sonny's dog, after all._

* * *

_He thought Sonny would get more friends. She didn't. And when she turned eleven, Greg decided to make a party for her. He invited some kids from school, and hoped it would help._

_It didn't help, though. Sonny ended up hysterically crying in her room, and for the first time in his life, he felt as if he had failed. "I'm sorry, Allison!" He yelled from behind her door, begging her to open up, but she didn't. "I hate you, daddy. I HATE YOU." She yelled, and those words tore him apart. And so he ended up with a beer in his hands, on the couch. _

_

* * *

_

Four months later, things went from bad to worse. Because every time Greg even dared to ask about friends, she would block him out. All she did was play with Muffin and make music on the guitar he bought for her. He was still proud of her, but that emotion got drowned in the huge pool of guilt and worry. Because his daughter was turning into someone who blocked everyone out, and he was scared she would stay that way. What happened to his sunny daughter?

_Once he was home from work, he was sick and had decided to stay at home. He sipped from his coffee when the door opened, and there was his daughter. Covered in mud, her hair half-wet, red streaks over her arms and tears falling from her eyes. "Sonny!" He had gasped, not knowing where to touch her first. "What happened?!" _

_And as she started sobbing, so hard, his heart broke when he heard what she was yelling at herself. "They think I'm weird! Why am I weird!? I don't want to be weird! Nobody likes me!" He continued to shake his head, while he took off her favourite jacket and threw away her bag. "You're perfect, Sonny. Perfect in every way." She kept sniffling, and it seemed like the tears didn't stop. "But why don't they like me?" He didn't answer and made her take a bath. Only then, he saw the bruises on her ribs. He called the school, and told them Sonny wouldn't return._

_Her next school was better, Sonny made friends easier. She was respected more._

_And Greg was happy, for some time. But when Connie noticed the dark bruises under his eyes, and his complaints about headaches started to get obvious, she started worrying._

"_Fine, I'll go to a doctor." He whined, trying to calm his wife down. But when she glared at him, he knew better than to joke around. Because jokes didn't always work. Not that time._

_So he visited a doctor, and when he got to hear they had to make a scan, he knew something was wrong. Something was definitely wrong. But when the doctor finally told him the news, he still cried. Not for himself, but because of his doctor._

_He had cancer, and it was spread all over his body. It was too late._

"_How long?" He asked, wiping away a tear from his cheek and getting off his seat in the office. "Six months, maybe a year." Numbly he nodded, and shook the doctor's hand, before making his way home._

_And when his wife found him drunk on the couch, and she jokingly showed her the results and said he was dying. She broke down, crying. She hit him everywhere she could._

"_I hate you, I hate you! How can you DO THIS TO ME?!" She screamed at him, and immediately sober he pulled her in his arms, and even though she didn't want to, she cried._

"_How can you do this to me?"_

__

* * *

**Thank you**

**And may I say to all the people who read this;**

**This story INCLUDES Channy. It's NOT a Channy STORY.**

**This story is written because I find Father-Daughter relationships interesting to write about.**

**Amen.**

**Review?**


	4. Chapter 4

**4.**

_It didn't take long for Sonny to notice how her daddy got paler and paler. And when Connie asked her husband one day when they would tell her, he didn't answer and just watched the president on TV. Five minutes later, she'd asked again, and he sighed, sadly. "Do we have to?" She'd gotten angry at him, something that happened more often those days, and yelled in a whisper. "You're dying, Greg! You're dying, and you don't want your daughter to know?!"_

_And he realized she was right, because how could you NOT tell your daughter that? If he wouldn't wake up one day, the day he feared, and Connie was left to tell Sonny that he'd lied, betrayed her? That wasn't love. And so when Greg nodded at his wife, and told her that they'd tell Allison everything during dinner, tears appeared in her eyes. And he had to hold her, once again._

_That evening, when they were done eating, and Greg opened the windows next to the table to make the smell of potatoes and meat go away, he asked his little girl to wait. She did, a worried frown on her face, because of his face that was filled with pain and worry, and because of the way he called her 'Allison'. "What's going on, daddy? Mom?" She asked them, noticing the quick, nervous glance her two parents shared before looking back at her._

_"We have to tell you something." Connie began, under the table grabbing her husband's hand and squeezing it, encouraging him. Sonny's eyes widened, just a little, worry pooling in them. "What did I do wrong? I'm sorry! I promise I'll do better next time!"_

_Her father shook his head, a soft smile on his face. "You didn't, Sonny. It's okay."_

_"But what…?" The girl trailed off, uncertain. "You see, Sonny, daddy is sick." Connie quickly said for her husband, as she felt his hands shaking. "But he'll get better, won't you, daddy? Everybody gets better, eventually." Sonny replied, her voice wavering a little, because it felt like a hand was trying to choke her, very slowly. "Do you remember uncle Sam, Sonny?" The minute his name was mentioned, her body froze, because she understood._

_"But… Daddy doesn't have what uncle Sam had… right?" She choked out, picking her words carefully and pushing the tears back._

_"Yes, he does, Sonny." Connie calmly said, before handing her daughter a cup of water. She quickly took a sip, before choking on it, and while tears streamed down her cheeks, she kept coughing. Five minutes later, she stopped, and with red cheeks and eyes, she looked up towards Greg. "Are you going to leave, daddy?" She wondered, her voice calmer than they all had expected. "Not yet, sweetheart." When she heard the answer, she quietly nodded before standing up and making her way out of the dining room towards her bedroom._

_And while Connie and Greg both listened to her footsteps, fading away with every move she made, a single teardrop ran down Greg's cheek. Quickly, he wiped it away with the back of his hand, before standing up and saying; "I'm going for a smoke." Connie stayed behind, and she sat there until three hours later, her husband came back and he had to force her into sleeping pills, so she'd calm down. Sonny didn't come out of her room until she had to go to school, two days later._

_"Are you mad at me?" He asked her, the Monday she got back from school, and saw him sitting on a chair near the door. She silently shook her head. "No, dad." He painfully got up from the chair, nodded at her and made his way into the garden. Hesitantly, his daughter watched him sit down underneath the big oak tree, while she made herself a glass of water._

_Gulping down the glass without a pause, she saw him close his eyes and loosen up. In a hurry she let the glass fall out of her hands, ignoring the sound of the breaking cracks and ran into the garden. She dropped on her knees in front of him, and grabbed his hands. One of his eyes opened, lazily, and the other opened as well, when he saw the tears in her eyes. "Sonny?"_

_"Don't die, daddy. Don't die." She sobbed, letting go of him, and pulling her knees up to her chest. "I don't want you to die." He pulled her in his lap, a tear escaping out of the corner of his eye. "Don't worry, Allison." He murmured, stroking her hair. "I won't die." She shook her head, quickly, tears falling and soaking his shirt. "Yes, you will!" She yelled, balling her fists and rubbing them over her eyes. He put his hands on top of her little fists, and pulled them away before making her stare into his eyes. "Not yet, Sonny." He said, wiping away her tears. "We still got some time left."_

_Sonny's twelfth birthday was tough. The three went to New York together, a place Sonny always wanted to go to. They left Muffin behind with the neighbours, and celebrated her birthday in a beautiful, expensive restaurant. Greg did everything to make his daughter feel like a lady, and she did. But even when they were having a good time, and they all tried, the three knew that this would be the last birthday Greg would attend._

_Connie saw her husband. She knew him, and she knew exactly how much he tried to hide. Because that's what men do, they don't like to be the weakest. It's all about the power._

_So when one bad day, Greg came to her and asked her for help, she embraced him. "I'll call the hospital." She said to him, and weakly he nodded, before sitting back on his usual spot by the door, waiting for his daughter to return from school. But when she returned, and he was gone, she went into hysterics. She thought he had left her._

_Half an hour later, Connie returned from the hospital, without her husband, and found her daughter in tears on the floor. "Is he gone, is he gone?" She kept asking her mother, and as Connie shook her head, and helped her from the floor, Sonny smiled. Just a little, weak, watery smile, but she smiled. Her daddy wasn't gone, yet._

_"We need to go to the hospital, Sonny." Her mom then said, her voice breaking several times. "It's not going well." Sonny nodded, taking her hand and following her mother to the car._

_Room 216 was her father's room. It was on the second floor, and just around the corner. The door was painted light blue, a calming colour. And on the wall opposite were all kinds of drawings. Sonny saw one with an elephant, who wore a pink ribbon. "It's A Girl!" the card said, and for a second she smiled, because the card was so cute._

_"Hey daddy," She whispered, closing the door behind her. Connie had to talk to the nurse, and fill in some forms before she would come to Greg's room. At least, that's what she told her daughter. In reality, Connie had settled in one of the bathrooms and was trying to stop hyperventilating. "How are you?" Sonny asked her father, and as he weakly smiled at her, her throat tightened just a little. He didn't answer her question, but she didn't mind. She knew the answer already. Quietly, she sat down next to his bed, and grabbed his hand. And as she saw a small droplet run down the side of his head, she didn't stop her tears anymore._

_"I'm sorry, daddy…" She sniffed, helplessly. "For what, sonshine?" He asked her, his voice just above a whisper, but still strong enough to understand. "I wasn't a good doctor. I should've been there all along. But I wasn't." More tears welled up in his eyes, and he held onto her hands. "You're the best daughter I could have, Sonny. I'm so proud of you." He murmured, a light cough escaping from his mouth. "Why do you have to leave, daddy?" Her voice begged him, and he squeezed her hand, weakly. "I'll never leave."_

_And as she looked into his eyes, and saw the determination in his glazed eyes, she nodded. "You'll never leave." She confirmed, and he nodded. "See you soon, Sonny. I love you."_

_And as his voice died away, and his hand lost its power. She saw the light dim in his eyes, and all she saw was blur. And all she felt was his skin slowly turning cold, and the tears drip down her cheeks onto the marble floor. When they finally managed to get Sonny to let go of her father's hand, she stopped struggling and just cried. She saw the blue door close through her tears, and when she turned away she saw how her mother was curled up against the wall, and sobbing in her hands._

_As they fell in each others arms, Sonny's tears stopped. And all she did was listen to her mother's breathing, while seeing the smiling face of Greg Munroe._

_He didn't leave._

_He never did._

_

* * *

_

**Well, at least somebody cried while writing this.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Short now, longer later.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

He didn't know when his arm wound around her, exactly.

It just was there, when she stopped talking. He turned his head to meet her gaze, and they stared at each other for a few long seconds. She started crying, halfway her story, but he didn't want to interrupt, so he didn't say anything and just let her.

"I guess you think I'm an idiot now." She chuckled, surprising him, because why would she be so light about all this? He quickly shook his head, when he realized she was waiting for an answer. "Of course not." She smiled at him, her puffy, red eyes piercing through him.

He felt uncomfortable, and she saw it. "You can go if you want."

Again he shook his head, quicker this time. "I don't want to leave. You just told me your father died of cancer, Sonny. Can I have a minute to NOT be a jerk, please?" He sounded more harsh than he wanted to, and quickly apologized afterwards.

She just smiled at him, this time meaning it more. "You're not so bad, after all, Chad Dylan Cooper." He groaned, running a hand through his hair. "Just Chad, you sound like the rest of them." He noticed how she blinked, not understand, obviously. "The rest as in all the others who think I'm a jerk."

"Who says I don't think you're a jerk?" She suddenly said, her face completely blank.

He raised his head, unbelieving, but when he saw her smirk, he sighed. "Sonny Munroe, you're better than the usual wannabes around here." Her smirk was replaced by a soft smile, she knew he wasn't good with compliments, but this was one.

There was a silence, a comfortable one, though. He worried about what he was going to say, scared that he'll screw it up. "Sonny?"

Alarmed by the quietness of his voice, she raised her head. Meeting his eyes, she wondered what was going on. "Sorry." He only whispered that one word, and it was enough to give him a hug. At least, for her it was. He accepted the hug, awkwardly, but relaxed in it, as soon as wrapped her frail arms around him.

"It's okay, Chad. It's been awhile." She said, softly in his ears. He nodded, slowly. "Yes, maybe. But you just went back. It's opening old wounds." Knowing he was right, she didn't answer. It didn't help replying it, and so she just hugged him.

"How long are we going to hug, Sonny?" Chad asked, more than ten minutes later. She shrugged, lightly, causing them both to laugh. Glad that he cheered her up a little, a smile spread across his face, and stayed there. "Hey, Chad, weren't you supposed to be recording around half an hour ago?" She suddenly said, making him freeze. The smile vanished.

"Oh….Crap." He paused, thinking of the trouble he would be in, but when he saw the girl next to him, his thoughts cleared. "Ah well. MacKenzie Falls can go without me for a little awhile."

"…But you're MacKenzie, Chad." He smirked. "I know."

There was another silence. "What is your show about, anyways?"

"You really don't want to know." He replied, thinking about his show.

She shrugged. "'Kay."

They just sat next to each other, until Chad asked her something unexpected.

"You wanna hear about my family?"

Her eyes widened, turning into the size of diner plates. "Did your dad die, too?"

He smiled, brightly. "Sort of."

She remained silent for a few seconds, composing herself. "Go ahead."

He smiled, again, before opening his mouth. "Well…"

* * *

**Review?**

**Thanks for reading!**

**BYE! :D**


	6. AN

Hello, readers.

As you all have noticed: I have been absent for quite awhile. At least: my writing has. I could say I haven't been on , but that would be lying and I don't lie, especially not in a situation like this. I _have_ been on the site, but only for reading not for writing.

The last story I've written was about five months ago and I'm terribly sorry to let you wait. It's cruel and rude and all I can say is that I'm sorry. So sorry.

The problem is: I'm not doing well. My writing and I are both suffering from a block and I, of course, have chosen to fix my own problems before I return to my (poor) writing. I want you all to know that I've _tried_. There were moments that I thought: 'let's do this', and I would sit down with a pen and I'd realize that there was nothing _there_. No inspiration, no characters, no insight. Nothing. I'm not a writer, at the moment, I wish I was, but I'm not. I'm just a girl, struggling to keep her head up and concentrating on not falling. I'm not functioning well and writing used to be my way out, but right now: there's nothing to write down.

All the times I've sat down with the need to write: They were for you, the readers who took the time to click on my stories, maybe review, alert or favourite. I don't write for myself anymore, not fanfiction, anyway, I do it for you. And I think that's one of the problems. I need to feel _it_ again, before I can continue on my way.

I've known I'm not going to be able to finish some stories, not anytime soon, for awhile now. This is hard for me, and I'm admitting it now. Acknowledging the concept of hiatus is something I find very difficult, even though it's very selfish to let your readers wait, while you know it will take too long. I told myself when I started a story like Two Worlds: 'you're going to finish this, so you'll be able to look back and feel proud'.

But I'm admitting defeat, I can't do this any longer.

Any story that's on a roll, right now, is on pause. _But_ I want you to know that I will _try_ again when I'm ready. I need to put myself together, before I put my stories back together. Like a double puzzle.

I never wanted to disappoint anyone and I wish it could be different. I wish I could just open a empty document like I used to do and pour my feelings out there. Turn myself into a character and feel like someone else, but I can't. Because right now, I'm so turned inwards, it's impossible for me to even try and write something down.

If you hate me, right now, I completely understand. But I'm begging you, if you do: remove your alerts and find someone new. Because if you even take the time to write my stories (which I appreciate so much, I can't even explain how much), you _must_ know there are better authors out there. I've seen so many _genius_ writers on and they deserve your attention so much more than I do.

I'm ending this note, now. I feel like I've been holding you up for too long. Thank you for reading and sticking with me.

I hope to talk to you soon and all the best.

- Susan.

PS If you ever want to reach me, with whatever: you can always send me a message.


End file.
